Sharks

As it happens more often on Saturday, I went for some diving.

Frank, my buddy, was really surprised when I told him I had never seen sharks.

OK, he said, than we will go to the sharks.

He even promised me.

And indeed, at a depth of 37 m, at the small wall of the Mnemba Atol, there they were, the whitetip reef sharks.

They were swimming smoothly, just as we did.

After this visit we returned slowly to the surface. We just met a turtle, a pink leaf fish and hundreds of thousands of fish.

My day could not go wrong anymore.

Second dive, drift dive. Very calmly: a moray ale and another one, a blue-spotted sting ray, a mini lion fish and a black lion fish, a stone fish and another one… so some kind of fish you do not always find easily.

And beautiful coral of course.

We were are already back on the boat when Frank suddenly says: Ilse, put your mask back on your nose…

And what happened then… I have no words. Just look at the film…

And again those askari.

So, here we are again, at the Mapenzi hotel gate, where they have once again changed the guards.

Jambo?

Jambo!

What is you name?

Ilse

What?

Ilse. Aaaaaaaaaaaaj ellllllllllllllll essssssssssssssss ìììììììììììì (spelling).  

I take his piece of paper and write my name myself. In uppercase. Just to be sure. Than I return him his pen en piece of paper.

He takes and gives it a look:“Ah, Irisse!”

Hèèèèèèèèèèèèèèèèèèèèèèèèèlp!

The ignorant tourist...

My phone rings, I answer: “Neckermann, Thomas Cook, Ilse speaking.

He: do I speak with the rep of Neckermann?

Me: yes sir, that’s me.

He: is it always hot like this here in Zanzibar?

Me: eh, excuse me, who am I talking to?

He: I am mr. Mueller, calling from the Dream of Zanzibar hotel. Is it always hot like this?

Me: eh, we are approaching the hottest period of the year.

He: really? Will it become more hot?

Me: Eventually. It could also rain, we are in the short rain period.

He: aah. So which sun cream do I need to use?

Me: The highest one. We are not far away from the equator, the sun is burning, also when it rains or there are clouds.

He: Are there other things I need to know?

Me: Yes, please don’t forget to drink; you are loosing a lot of liquid due to the humidity

He: how much?

Me: You should try to drink 3 up to 4 liters of water?

He: Can I drink beer instead?

Me: oh, I think that is a bit too much, that is a lot of alcohol in one day.

But at that moment I couldn't withhold laughing and… I heard a very loud burst of laughing at the other side of the phone. My boss was calling me…

Rescue Diver!

One year Zanzibar, the bloopers

Welcome meeting.

Guests: "eh, we would like to go to Stonehenge...".
Me: “Well, we have different options to go to Stone TOWN: you could combine with bla bla bla...”
5 min later: "Ok, we will call you tomorrow to organise the trip to Stonehenge!"
Hopefully they won't be disappointed by the wooden doors in the (coral) stone houses...

Phone call from guests who did NOT come to the welcome meeting: "Yes, we received the envelope with the yellow cards and the map of Zanzibar and the excursion list. These excursions are for free isn't it?"

21:30, Oct 1st.
Phone call from a guest: "Eh, excuse me, do you know when I have to go home? The hotel says I need to go home this night but I think I can stay one more day."
Me: “I don't know by heart, but what is written on your flight ticket?”
Guest: “It says ‘Oct 2nd, 3:25 am’.”
Me: “So?”
Guest: “I don't know, that is tomorrow night, isn't it?”
Me: “well, now it is 1st Oct; at midnight it will be 00:00 hrs of 2nd. October, one hour later it will be 1:00 am and so on. So after that it will be 3:25 am.”
Guest: “Oops, I urgently need to make my luggage. Thanks.”

I meet my guests who are back from a short safari in Selous National Reserve, Tanzania: "And, how was the Safari? Did you see the big five? (Elephant, Buffel, Lion, Leopard, Rhino)"
He: "No, we didn't, we didn't see the black panther".
She: "And the tiger neither..."
Ooooooooooooooh

Guests are complaining at the reception. I ask if I can help.

“Yes, we want a room without lizards.”

“Dear guests, lizards are really common in Africa, so it is IMPOSSIBLE to give you a room without lizards...”
And then they got angry...

Guest, unhappy with the room category she booked: “But why can't you give me a free room-upgrade? There are so many rooms with sea view available.”
Me: “Look at it like this. You go to a shop of household suppliance, and you want to buy an iron. They have models that cost 50 euro and others that cost 100 euro. You cannot ask to get one of 100 euro and pay only 50 euro just because there are still a lot of irons of 100 euro available...”
She didn't understand...

Guest, almost crying: “I want to go home!”
Me: “I’m sorry. Why would you like to go home?”
Guest: “My luggage didn't come. And now what do I do? I can't go for dinner because I don't have decent clothes. And how do I get anyway out of my room, I don't even have a hairbrush to brush my hair. How can I come out of my room in this situation? I WANT TO GO HOME ASAP!!”

Guest (during rainy season): “It is raining too much here, we want to change and go to another hotel.”
Me: “Ok. Have you already decided to which hotel you want to go to?”
Guest: “We want to go where it is not raining, to Egypt! Can you recommend us any good hotel there?”

Guard, who doesn't want to let me in: “Good evening madam, are you new?”
Me: “No, I'm not new, I am 43 years old. So you cannot say I am new.”
Guard: “But how is this possible, this hotel is just 7 years old...”

Guest of whom photo camera has been stolen from the room: “I knew it, I have read it on TripAdvisor that items get stolen out of the rooms in this hotel.”
Me: “Right. But if you have read it on TripAdvisor, why didn't you put your camera in the safe box in your room?”
Guest: “Because on internet they wrote about a mobile phone, not about a photo camera!”

Guest: “Will I get sea sick on this excursion?”
Me: “I don’t think so, you will be sailing on the Ocean...”

If I can give you a medical certification, can you give me a free room upgrade?

Guest: “Are there really no parrots on this island? But there is a rain forest...”

Guest: “But if we leave early in the morning and come back late in the evening, why can't we drive to the national park instead of flying there, and go on safari just for one day?”
Me: “Eh, though our safari cars are land rovers, we still cannot cross the sea with them. Zanzibar is an Island”.OoooooooooooooooooooooooooohT

Daily bread

This morning at about 10:15 I was stopped by the police. I was a about halfway between Pwani Mchangani and Kinyasini.

A policeman asked for my driving licence, so I gave it to him. But after checking, he didn't return it to me. He ordered me though to get out of my car. When I asked what was going on, he said that I had made a BIG mistake.

By getting out of my car, I realized that on the opposite side of the street there was a car with a policeman and a speed machine.

I asked again what was wrong, but didn't get an answer.
As the sun was burning and I didn't want to be on the road (also because it is dangerous), I decided to wait into my car. On that moment the policeman became very aggressive to me, trying to withhold mi to get into my car. He didn't succeed so than he tried to take the car keys from me. I could hide them and told that I wanted to wait in the car, but he was just shouting to me.

On all the questions I had (why should I wait outside my car, what was exactly going on), I just didn't get an answer, the man just continued shouting that I had made a BIG mistake.

One of the other police man (there were 5 police men and 1 military) came to me and showed the machine. Apparently I had been driving 68 km/h. I was not denying as I know that could be  more or less the speed I have on the straight parts of the country roads with no houses and no traffic. Though in that area there are no signs of any speed limit.

Another agent came to take some personal details of me and forced me to sign a paper (a list) in which I declare to have committed this “error”.

Suddenly  that  policeman went to the other side of my car and took out the sticker with the green card of the car. It was impossible to stop him.

None of the policeman was giving any information (apart from telling me that I had made a BIG mistake); the military pretends even not to speak English, and it was not possible the get my driving license and green card back.

In the mean time they had stopped another car behind me, with also a European lady, and they were treating her in the same way as they were treating me: taking away the driving licence, taking away the sticker with the green card, forcing her to sign the paper.

Nobody was giving me any information (what will go on now? How will I get my driving licence and green card back?), they only said “Kiwengwa Police station”. Actually they hardly speak English.

This was very confusing for both of us, so we started to ask for their identification numbers but they were all hiding it, refusing to show it to.

So as we didn't know what to do, we started taking pictures of these police man so that at least there would be a way to identify them.

This must have scared them because suddenly they all run to the car and drove away. I tried to stop the car because I still wanted my driving licence back but they were ignoring me almost running over me.

They hadn't given any information, any paper, any contact…

I continued my way and stopped at the police station in Mahonda, asking the police there to make up a declaration of what happened. I told my story to Mr. Kipano who was listening very well and willing to help me: again I declared that I was not contesting the speed, but that the way they had treated me (and the other lady) was very rude and didn't seem to be very regular.

He wrote me a declaration that I had no driving license so that I could continue my way and could show the police in case there was another control. Also the other lady came there and received the same declaration.

We agreed that I would come back in the afternoon and that we would go together to Kiwengwa to get my driving licence & green card back.

We did so indeed and I got my driving licence and green card back. Mr. Kipano in the meantime also had organised that the other lady had her green card back.

I asked him what had happened; he only answered me that they definitively had not been following the regular procedures.

Mr. Kipano has been very helpful and correct in this matter. This cannot been said of the police man on the road: the have been abusing their position & their uniform to intimidate two ladies by accusing us of mistakes they even cannot proof (there is no speed limit sign on the whole road).

Badly for them, they have met the wrong women: the other lady and me, we don’t let them bulldozer over us…

Afrika, the real life

Friday 20

17:20:                  2 guests ask me to organise a safari fort hem. I call Geroleen and ask for availability. It is late and not possible anymore to contact Coastal (Biubwa), she will do it tomorrow morning.
I agree with the guests to meet again tomorrow morning at 10:30 to finalise the booking.

Saturday 21

10:00                   Geroleen informs me that the Lake Manze lodge is booked out, but there is availability in the Wilderness lodge, any day of the week.
She is also waiting for an e-mail from Biubwa (Coastal) with the link to the website of that lodge.

10:30                   Still no link/e-mail. I google and find, and together with the guests we look at the website. In less than half an hour I send an e-mail & sms to confirm the safari on Thursday 26/Friday 27.
Geroleen confirms the safari (lodge & date).

12:22                   I receive a message that also the Wilderness lodge is booked out but EVENTUALLY  the Mbuyu lodge has still availability.
Or the guests could go on Tuesday or Wednesday.
I know this is no longer an option for the guests as after confirming the safari with me they have confirmed other excursions/activities.
Moreover, asking them NOW to change the date is impossible: I don’t know where they are and… today is my day off and I would like to enjoy it.

                           I ask Geroleen to insist with Biubwa to organise the safari on 26/27; in the end she has created the problems …

Sunday 22

17:30                   I still don’t have any confirmation for this safari.
2 more guests ask me to go on safari, together with those guests. For now I cannot confirm, today is Sunday.

Monday 23

Airport                 Tonino is at the airport and confirms me the safari I had booked last Saturday.
I ask availability for 2 more guests.

Office                   Tonino calls me back: availability ok, he asks for the names.
I call the hotel and ask the guests permission to continue with the booking. They agree and will come by at 17:00 for the payment.
I communicate the names to Geroleen (Naissi)

Voormiddag          hotel Sea Cliff: 2 more guests are interested in making a safari; I ask Geroleen to check for availability.

12:38                   SMS from Geroleen “Hi Ilse, clients Naissi x2 on their returning date, their flight fr. Dar to znz wl be at 17:45 landing in znz 18:00. Other 2 pax wl arrive early at 17:30. Pls inform the clients about the changes. Txs.

17:00                   Guests Naissi come to tell me they can’t find their credit card (Forgotten? Lost? Stolen?). In any case, they can’t pay the safari.
I call Geroleen: guests cannot pay the safari, but tomorrow I will try to convince the guests from Sea Cliff to go on Safari on Thursday, so we don’t need to cancel the flight tickets/lodge, we just need to change the names.

Tuesday 24

morning               Geroleen calls me to inform me that we have to pay, weather we have guests or not.
I repeat to ask for an option till 16:00 as I have more interested guests…

15:00                   I convince the guests, they will go on safari on Thursday and they pay.

15:38                   SMS to Geroleen “Hi Geroleen, guest ROSSBACHER Ernst & Elke have paid Selous Safari for 26/9. Ilse”

±10 min later        Still no reaction from Geroleen, I call her. She hasn’t read yet the message but she will confirm immediately.

10 more min         call from Tonino: how i dare to confirm a safari (that had been cancelled). I explain I had asked for an option till 16:00 uur, so now it is 15:58 still in time to confirm. He doesn’t know of any time limit and says he only received an e-mail from Geroleen with the request to cancel as the guests couldn’t pay. (Geroleen will tell me later she indeed has asked for the option till 16:00).
I explain that these guests have paid, so we need to find a solution. He says he will check and inform me.

Wednesday 25

8:20                    SMS to Tonino with the request to answer.

± 9:30                 still no answer from Tonino (and he even doesn’t answer his mobile phone) so
I call Geroleen and ask if she can check.

after ± 20 min      Tel from Geroleen: safari is not possible, there are no seats available on the plane

10 min later          again a call from Geroleen: according to Biubwa they cannot cancel the lodge otherwise they have to pay the cancellation fee so they will book a flight with ZanAir.

10 min later          tel from Tonino: everything is cancelled; there are no seats on the plane.  I don’t understand it and refer to what Biubwa has said to Geroleen concerning  the flight company and the cancellation fee. He says that that is impossible, but he will ask for information. He promises me he will let me know before 12:00 if the guests can go on safari on 26, 29 or 30 (so 26 is not excluded yet).

10:53                   sms from Geroleen “Hi Ilse! I think u had spoken to Tonino that Rossbacher booking is canceled. Thx.

For half an hour I can’t reach anybody: I am driving from Pingwe to Nungwi, in the woods of Zanzibar, there is no signal for the mobile Phone.

11:40                   back into “civilisation”, SMS from Tonino: “Safari for tomorrow confirmed ciao tonino”

13:08                   SMS from Geroleen ”Dear Ilse booking for rossbacher is well confirmed for tommorow. Pick up time is 08.00 by Zanair. Pick up fr hotel is 06:00 am. Thx.

At that moment I started breathing again… At what point would you have gone mad????