Rescue Diver!

One year Zanzibar, the bloopers

Welcome meeting.

Guests: "eh, we would like to go to Stonehenge...".
Me: “Well, we have different options to go to Stone TOWN: you could combine with bla bla bla...”
5 min later: "Ok, we will call you tomorrow to organise the trip to Stonehenge!"
Hopefully they won't be disappointed by the wooden doors in the (coral) stone houses...

Phone call from guests who did NOT come to the welcome meeting: "Yes, we received the envelope with the yellow cards and the map of Zanzibar and the excursion list. These excursions are for free isn't it?"

21:30, Oct 1st.
Phone call from a guest: "Eh, excuse me, do you know when I have to go home? The hotel says I need to go home this night but I think I can stay one more day."
Me: “I don't know by heart, but what is written on your flight ticket?”
Guest: “It says ‘Oct 2nd, 3:25 am’.”
Me: “So?”
Guest: “I don't know, that is tomorrow night, isn't it?”
Me: “well, now it is 1st Oct; at midnight it will be 00:00 hrs of 2nd. October, one hour later it will be 1:00 am and so on. So after that it will be 3:25 am.”
Guest: “Oops, I urgently need to make my luggage. Thanks.”

I meet my guests who are back from a short safari in Selous National Reserve, Tanzania: "And, how was the Safari? Did you see the big five? (Elephant, Buffel, Lion, Leopard, Rhino)"
He: "No, we didn't, we didn't see the black panther".
She: "And the tiger neither..."
Ooooooooooooooh

Guests are complaining at the reception. I ask if I can help.

“Yes, we want a room without lizards.”

“Dear guests, lizards are really common in Africa, so it is IMPOSSIBLE to give you a room without lizards...”
And then they got angry...

Guest, unhappy with the room category she booked: “But why can't you give me a free room-upgrade? There are so many rooms with sea view available.”
Me: “Look at it like this. You go to a shop of household suppliance, and you want to buy an iron. They have models that cost 50 euro and others that cost 100 euro. You cannot ask to get one of 100 euro and pay only 50 euro just because there are still a lot of irons of 100 euro available...”
She didn't understand...

Guest, almost crying: “I want to go home!”
Me: “I’m sorry. Why would you like to go home?”
Guest: “My luggage didn't come. And now what do I do? I can't go for dinner because I don't have decent clothes. And how do I get anyway out of my room, I don't even have a hairbrush to brush my hair. How can I come out of my room in this situation? I WANT TO GO HOME ASAP!!”

Guest (during rainy season): “It is raining too much here, we want to change and go to another hotel.”
Me: “Ok. Have you already decided to which hotel you want to go to?”
Guest: “We want to go where it is not raining, to Egypt! Can you recommend us any good hotel there?”

Guard, who doesn't want to let me in: “Good evening madam, are you new?”
Me: “No, I'm not new, I am 43 years old. So you cannot say I am new.”
Guard: “But how is this possible, this hotel is just 7 years old...”

Guest of whom photo camera has been stolen from the room: “I knew it, I have read it on TripAdvisor that items get stolen out of the rooms in this hotel.”
Me: “Right. But if you have read it on TripAdvisor, why didn't you put your camera in the safe box in your room?”
Guest: “Because on internet they wrote about a mobile phone, not about a photo camera!”

Guest: “Will I get sea sick on this excursion?”
Me: “I don’t think so, you will be sailing on the Ocean...”

If I can give you a medical certification, can you give me a free room upgrade?

Guest: “Are there really no parrots on this island? But there is a rain forest...”

Guest: “But if we leave early in the morning and come back late in the evening, why can't we drive to the national park instead of flying there, and go on safari just for one day?”
Me: “Eh, though our safari cars are land rovers, we still cannot cross the sea with them. Zanzibar is an Island”.OoooooooooooooooooooooooooohT

Daily bread

This morning at about 10:15 I was stopped by the police. I was a about halfway between Pwani Mchangani and Kinyasini.

A policeman asked for my driving licence, so I gave it to him. But after checking, he didn't return it to me. He ordered me though to get out of my car. When I asked what was going on, he said that I had made a BIG mistake.

By getting out of my car, I realized that on the opposite side of the street there was a car with a policeman and a speed machine.

I asked again what was wrong, but didn't get an answer.
As the sun was burning and I didn't want to be on the road (also because it is dangerous), I decided to wait into my car. On that moment the policeman became very aggressive to me, trying to withhold mi to get into my car. He didn't succeed so than he tried to take the car keys from me. I could hide them and told that I wanted to wait in the car, but he was just shouting to me.

On all the questions I had (why should I wait outside my car, what was exactly going on), I just didn't get an answer, the man just continued shouting that I had made a BIG mistake.

One of the other police man (there were 5 police men and 1 military) came to me and showed the machine. Apparently I had been driving 68 km/h. I was not denying as I know that could be  more or less the speed I have on the straight parts of the country roads with no houses and no traffic. Though in that area there are no signs of any speed limit.

Another agent came to take some personal details of me and forced me to sign a paper (a list) in which I declare to have committed this “error”.

Suddenly  that  policeman went to the other side of my car and took out the sticker with the green card of the car. It was impossible to stop him.

None of the policeman was giving any information (apart from telling me that I had made a BIG mistake); the military pretends even not to speak English, and it was not possible the get my driving license and green card back.

In the mean time they had stopped another car behind me, with also a European lady, and they were treating her in the same way as they were treating me: taking away the driving licence, taking away the sticker with the green card, forcing her to sign the paper.

Nobody was giving me any information (what will go on now? How will I get my driving licence and green card back?), they only said “Kiwengwa Police station”. Actually they hardly speak English.

This was very confusing for both of us, so we started to ask for their identification numbers but they were all hiding it, refusing to show it to.

So as we didn't know what to do, we started taking pictures of these police man so that at least there would be a way to identify them.

This must have scared them because suddenly they all run to the car and drove away. I tried to stop the car because I still wanted my driving licence back but they were ignoring me almost running over me.

They hadn't given any information, any paper, any contact…

I continued my way and stopped at the police station in Mahonda, asking the police there to make up a declaration of what happened. I told my story to Mr. Kipano who was listening very well and willing to help me: again I declared that I was not contesting the speed, but that the way they had treated me (and the other lady) was very rude and didn't seem to be very regular.

He wrote me a declaration that I had no driving license so that I could continue my way and could show the police in case there was another control. Also the other lady came there and received the same declaration.

We agreed that I would come back in the afternoon and that we would go together to Kiwengwa to get my driving licence & green card back.

We did so indeed and I got my driving licence and green card back. Mr. Kipano in the meantime also had organised that the other lady had her green card back.

I asked him what had happened; he only answered me that they definitively had not been following the regular procedures.

Mr. Kipano has been very helpful and correct in this matter. This cannot been said of the police man on the road: the have been abusing their position & their uniform to intimidate two ladies by accusing us of mistakes they even cannot proof (there is no speed limit sign on the whole road).

Badly for them, they have met the wrong women: the other lady and me, we don’t let them bulldozer over us…

Afrika, the real life

Friday 20

17:20:                  2 guests ask me to organise a safari fort hem. I call Geroleen and ask for availability. It is late and not possible anymore to contact Coastal (Biubwa), she will do it tomorrow morning.
I agree with the guests to meet again tomorrow morning at 10:30 to finalise the booking.

Saturday 21

10:00                   Geroleen informs me that the Lake Manze lodge is booked out, but there is availability in the Wilderness lodge, any day of the week.
She is also waiting for an e-mail from Biubwa (Coastal) with the link to the website of that lodge.

10:30                   Still no link/e-mail. I google and find, and together with the guests we look at the website. In less than half an hour I send an e-mail & sms to confirm the safari on Thursday 26/Friday 27.
Geroleen confirms the safari (lodge & date).

12:22                   I receive a message that also the Wilderness lodge is booked out but EVENTUALLY  the Mbuyu lodge has still availability.
Or the guests could go on Tuesday or Wednesday.
I know this is no longer an option for the guests as after confirming the safari with me they have confirmed other excursions/activities.
Moreover, asking them NOW to change the date is impossible: I don’t know where they are and… today is my day off and I would like to enjoy it.

                           I ask Geroleen to insist with Biubwa to organise the safari on 26/27; in the end she has created the problems …

Sunday 22

17:30                   I still don’t have any confirmation for this safari.
2 more guests ask me to go on safari, together with those guests. For now I cannot confirm, today is Sunday.

Monday 23

Airport                 Tonino is at the airport and confirms me the safari I had booked last Saturday.
I ask availability for 2 more guests.

Office                   Tonino calls me back: availability ok, he asks for the names.
I call the hotel and ask the guests permission to continue with the booking. They agree and will come by at 17:00 for the payment.
I communicate the names to Geroleen (Naissi)

Voormiddag          hotel Sea Cliff: 2 more guests are interested in making a safari; I ask Geroleen to check for availability.

12:38                   SMS from Geroleen “Hi Ilse, clients Naissi x2 on their returning date, their flight fr. Dar to znz wl be at 17:45 landing in znz 18:00. Other 2 pax wl arrive early at 17:30. Pls inform the clients about the changes. Txs.

17:00                   Guests Naissi come to tell me they can’t find their credit card (Forgotten? Lost? Stolen?). In any case, they can’t pay the safari.
I call Geroleen: guests cannot pay the safari, but tomorrow I will try to convince the guests from Sea Cliff to go on Safari on Thursday, so we don’t need to cancel the flight tickets/lodge, we just need to change the names.

Tuesday 24

morning               Geroleen calls me to inform me that we have to pay, weather we have guests or not.
I repeat to ask for an option till 16:00 as I have more interested guests…

15:00                   I convince the guests, they will go on safari on Thursday and they pay.

15:38                   SMS to Geroleen “Hi Geroleen, guest ROSSBACHER Ernst & Elke have paid Selous Safari for 26/9. Ilse”

±10 min later        Still no reaction from Geroleen, I call her. She hasn’t read yet the message but she will confirm immediately.

10 more min         call from Tonino: how i dare to confirm a safari (that had been cancelled). I explain I had asked for an option till 16:00 uur, so now it is 15:58 still in time to confirm. He doesn’t know of any time limit and says he only received an e-mail from Geroleen with the request to cancel as the guests couldn’t pay. (Geroleen will tell me later she indeed has asked for the option till 16:00).
I explain that these guests have paid, so we need to find a solution. He says he will check and inform me.

Wednesday 25

8:20                    SMS to Tonino with the request to answer.

± 9:30                 still no answer from Tonino (and he even doesn’t answer his mobile phone) so
I call Geroleen and ask if she can check.

after ± 20 min      Tel from Geroleen: safari is not possible, there are no seats available on the plane

10 min later          again a call from Geroleen: according to Biubwa they cannot cancel the lodge otherwise they have to pay the cancellation fee so they will book a flight with ZanAir.

10 min later          tel from Tonino: everything is cancelled; there are no seats on the plane.  I don’t understand it and refer to what Biubwa has said to Geroleen concerning  the flight company and the cancellation fee. He says that that is impossible, but he will ask for information. He promises me he will let me know before 12:00 if the guests can go on safari on 26, 29 or 30 (so 26 is not excluded yet).

10:53                   sms from Geroleen “Hi Ilse! I think u had spoken to Tonino that Rossbacher booking is canceled. Thx.

For half an hour I can’t reach anybody: I am driving from Pingwe to Nungwi, in the woods of Zanzibar, there is no signal for the mobile Phone.

11:40                   back into “civilisation”, SMS from Tonino: “Safari for tomorrow confirmed ciao tonino”

13:08                   SMS from Geroleen ”Dear Ilse booking for rossbacher is well confirmed for tommorow. Pick up time is 08.00 by Zanair. Pick up fr hotel is 06:00 am. Thx.

At that moment I started breathing again… At what point would you have gone mad????

Condor bird

Monday morning. As usual I am at the airport to welcome the new guests. They all got out of the plain and are on a bus, except for one lady who is missing her luggage. But after I while she also gets on the bus and I am about to leave (9:00) when the responsible of Condor calls me: the plane cannot leave, upon take off in Mombasa a bird has flown in one of the motors and now the plane must be repaired. It will take a couple of hours, so all guests must go back to the hotels they come from.

As I know the Condor-man doesn’t speak German and I also know he is a bit lazy, I decide to stay at the airport to assist him. Otherwise, once back in Germany, the people will complain: there was noooooooooooooooo rep and there was noooooooooooooooo information.
I wish I had never done so!!!


It took about an hour to get the airport pass to get into the airport, to the departure hall. I follow the Condor-man and explain the people what happened and that they will have to go back to the hotel but that they have to wait a bit.
Than I wanted to go to the plane to inform the 95 passengers that departed in Mombasa. But they don’t allow me to go to the plane.
So I wait in the departure hall with about 110 passengers.



In the meantime it was clear that the plane would not leave the same day, so it means a delay of 24 hours.
The Condor-man had gone to the immigration office: as also the passengers from Mombasa will have to stay for 24 hrs in Zanzibar, they need to pay the entry visa. They don’t need to pay themselves, it will be paid by Condor. But Immigration wants cash money, no bank transfer or cheque. And of course the Condor-man cannot find in a short way about 3000 USD. And negotiating takes time.

The passengers have checked in at 8:00 and the plane landed with 95 passengers at 8:00. Only at 11:00 a first group – the Thomas Cook package guests – can leave the airport. And from this moment many things go wrong. The Condor-man cannot organise; he already asked me if I knew some hotels where we can send the passengers to. And he also cannot count…


I had 56 guests who were to go back to the Neptune hotel, he wanted to put them on 2 minibuses of 24 seats each. So when 8 of them are still waiting for a “seat”, Condor-man realises he needs another solution. All passengers get out of the minibuses and get onto a huge coach.  One group is ready to leave. Fortunately I had my departure list, otherwise nobody would have ever known who and how many people had already left.
Then the people from Mombasa came out: they all have to go to the Karafuu hotel. Except for the guests who have booked Business class or premium economy. 3 minibuses are filled… and they can leave. Filled? I don’t really know: nobody had counted them and I am sure that some seats were still available.
Than the crew comes out of the airport, they all go on another minibuss to the Serena Inn hotel, a city hotel in Stone Town.

Than another mini-bus is filled with Business class & Premium economy class guests, they also go to Serena inn.

At the end there are 30 people remaining… yes, I had noticed some people were missing: the once who were still waiting in the departure hall.  So they also are taken out.
The 2 mini-buses from Serena had to come back, to pick them up and bring them to Karafuu.


At 13:00 all passengers are on the way to or arrived in a hotel.  And I receive a phone call from Neptune, the hotel where my guests have gone back to: Condor-man just had forgotten to call them to book the rooms. And the hotel will not allow them before they received a written confirmation Condor will pay for this overnight.

According to Condor-man, the flight will leave with a delay of exactly 24 hrs, so guests need to be picked at 6:00 am.

I go to our office and around 14:30 I walk to the Serena Inn hotel to see if everything is ok.  I still find 16 guests of whom 3 little children waiting at the reception. Condor-man just had send some guests to Serena Inn without counting them and without considering the available rooms.
So the guests who have booked Business Class now were brought to a 3* hotel somewhere else in Stone Town.

In the afternoon I call Condor-man just to check again on the departure time, but I can’t reach him. Also my colleague Hamisi cant reach him and even not his own staff. So I just accept it will be 9:00 tomorrow.

This means wake up call at 5:00, breakfast at 5:30 and departure at 6:00 as normal.
But at 4:30 Condor-man calls me: why did you change the pick up times??
me: I didn’t change any pick-up time and you could not be reached the whole afternoon yesterday.
His battery was empty…
“Guests must leave at 5:00 because the flight already goes at 8:00…”
I jump out of my bed, call all the rooms to ask to come down immediately without having breakfast as the plane will leave one hour earlier.
At 5:30 they are all gone, I run to the restaurant to inform that they can cancel the breakfast. I walk back to my room to get a shower and have a nap when suddenly my phone rings: there has been a mistake. The plane is not leaving at 8:00 am but at 8:00 pm.  Suddenly I had the feeling my knees were from rubber.

I run down again to the restaurant: please don’t cancel the breakfast, the guests are coming back. To the reception: please don’t clear the rooms, the guests are coming back.
At 6:15 they are all back: some of them could have lynched me, although I was not responsible at all for this situation. But they don’t understand this…

Fortunately at 10:00 I had to leave to continue the jobs I couldn’t do on Monday. Like talking with the woman who’s suitcase didn’t arrive. She was crying that she wanted to go home, as what could she do here without her clothes. I tried to comfort her: your suitcase will be here in 2 days… But she didn’t want to believe it.

In the afternoon I need to go to Karafuu. And there I meet the approx 130 guests that were waiting to go home. Also some of them were angry with me. And asking questions I couldn’t answer: is our connection flight booked? Is my train ticket still valid? Is?... I don’t know!

This hotel has served diner at 18:00 so they could leave at 19:00 as in the mean time the departure flight had changed again. I asked some guests to send me an SMS after they had checked in, so I could be sure they were leaving.
Around 22:30 two messages: we are on the plain.
I fell asleep immediately.

I t took 2 days though before all the stress had gone…

Askari (part 2)

We are still at the Mapenzi hotel with their not too savvy askaris.

Sunday, April 15th, 21:30.

• The hotel is about to close to renovate the pool.

• Isabelle, an employee of the Mapenzi hotel, is about to go back to Italy.

• Deborah and I are goint to Mapenzi, to have a last drink with her and to say goodbye.

Barrier, askari1: "Jambo!"

Me: "Jambo!"

Askari: "Why are you here?"

Me: "We come to swim."

Again a satisfactory answer, the barrier opens. And Deborah can’t hold her laughing: "How do you do that?"

300 m further, wooden gate, other askari: "Why are you here?"

Me: "We go swimming."

Askari2: "No, that's not possible."

Me: "Oh yes, it is only tomorrow that the pool will be drained, today we still can swim."

Askari2: "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah", and the gate opens.

If we step inside het hotel, the pool is already empty ...

The question is: what if some terrorists are at the gate and say they come to swim? Will they be allowed inside as easy as us?

I am worried ...

Forgotten

“Are you married ?” Very common question here.

My default answer : “no, I forgot.”

Ali Baba, the owner of the rental car I am using for my job: “But how can you forget something like that”.

Me: “You know, I was young, working, busy,… I just forgot to think about it.”

“Oh my goodness, how can you forget this when you are young. But you still have time, you still can got married… because, who will take care of you when you get old? It’s still a while, but anyway. How old are you now? 33? 34?”

“I’m 44!”

“44?! Ooooh. Yes, you really forgot to marry!”